Nighttime

Uma despedida.

 

“I haven’t seen you in a while”, the guard said.
I watched as he approached, his thick yellow coat wrinkled here and there with every step.
“How’s the knee?” I asked.
“Better.”
“Good.”
We examined the ruins together from behind the short fence for some time, there was silence until I broke it.
“I wasn’t expecting our walls to be gone. And our roof and our windows and doors.”
“Time does that. Some pillars still stand right there though, you see?” his heavy glove pointing right into the rubble. “Good engineering of yours?”
“No. Those are just made of quality stuff. Hard to find.”
“I see, makes sense. But what now, where are you going to?”
“Somewhere a bit less sunny, maybe.”

Austherus Aynvals

Mantive o formato de diário, dividido em três partes.

 

January the Twentieth, 2014

I was born in a mountain stronghold northeast of Coerthas. It wasn’t the best place for a child to be raised in, but that taught me how hard life can be very soon. The stronghold was called Aynvalsium.
I had no idea about the meaning of that, so the name didn’t ring any bells at the time. It was much later, after leaving my old life behind, that I learned what little I now know about the lineage of which I am part of.

I was taught how to fight and how to survive, how to find food and shelter, and that was all we needed. It hardened me, until I decided it wasn’t enough.
Something inside me wanted to learn more and more, to see the world behind the snowy and cloudy mountains that surrounded our rudimentary walls.
My father did all he could to stop me, saying I should not leave our people behind, but nothing would ever be enough to hold me back.

I left.

 

January the Twenty Sixth, 2014

My travels took me to Ul’dah, where I joined the Thaumaturge’s Guild. All that knowledge waiting before me, ready to be taken, learned and mastered was something I would never ever have dreamed of.
I learned all I could, but of course it was not enough, so I traveled to Gridania. The Conjurers accepted me, and after months of training, it wasn’t enough, again. To Limsa Lominsa them, I said.

After joining the Arcanist’s Guild and learning all they could teach me, I finally discovered something. Not in Limsa, no, but in Coerthas. An old man, walking alone on one of the roads to Whitebrim Front sang something that sparked my interest:

– “From ages old, Aynvalsium hails proud,
all foes once bowed, before the grandeur of our hold.”

Aynvalsium, you said? – I asked. I told him my story, but he didn’t believe much of what I said. As soon as I finished speaking, he told me more:

– Aynvalsium was a great fortress in Coerthas. One of the sturdiest, but no one remembers it anymore. It has vanished before my great-grandfather was born. His father served House Aynvals, and this short song is what was left from their battle hymn. My family still sing it to remind us of where we once came from.

 

February the Second, 2014

With no idea of what to think, I came back to Aynvalsium; the small stronghold I knew as Aynvalsium, to ask my father what all that was about.
My Aynvalsium, just like the one from the old man’s tale, had vanished. Garlemald attacked it and turned everything into dust. They wanted my people to surrender, but we were never taught that, so they fought to the end… and I wasn’t there.

No Guild could tell me anything about the past of my people, only that I had the blood of House Aynvals in my veins.
Without any clue of where to go next, I decided to found a new House Aynvals. As a Free Company, we could recruit the best fighters and mages of Eorzea, and with their help, learn everything we could about my people’s past, and build a future together.

Training with the Marauders has taught me how to protect those I care for, so that the new Free Company will not be touched by the corrupted hands of Garlemald or any other foe.

I am Austherus Aynvals, son of Hagardahn Aynvals, Archduke of House Aynvals.

Ela passou por mim

Ela passou por mim. “I eat plants for a living”, dizia a camiseta dela. Gostava de andar sozinha de skate nos fins de tarde. Tinha seus amigos, companheiros embaixo do céu laranja; chegava com eles mas os orbitava distante, não fazia parte daquilo. Também não buscava ninguém, como poderia? Já tinha em si tudo o que precisava.

Eu buscava, perdido no mar. Queria que segurasse minha mão quando caía. Quando fosse frio, agarrasse minha camiseta e se cobrisse de mim. Queria que fosse ela do outro lado do telefone de madrugada. Queria voltar sozinho à noite, depois de deixá-la em casa. Mas dos seus olhos, quem era eu?

Ela passou por mim. A suave brisa rodopiava papéis e folhas pela calçada; seus amigos se foram, um após o outro. Eu fiquei, desajeitado e inseguro, mas queria ter ido embora. Tentei disfarçar, fingi que a ignorava; que medo de não parecer normal. É claro que não funcionou, ela encarava de longe. Qualquer chance morreu naquela olhar.

Houve um beijo então, acho que logo depois. Não sei como chegamos a ele, só sei que aconteceu quando tentamos conversar, desajeitados e inseguros; não era resultado da minha coragem, foi apenas o passo evidente quando não encontramos mais o que dizer. Houve um beijo então, e eu a deixei ir embora, sem falar nada.

Sei que deixou algo em mim. No coração, eu acho, algo que não deixarei escapar.